Why Newton Committed Suicide?

Here is the reason.

Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.

In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes

1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!

2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet

into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.

3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster.. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess what he does. Nah? Not even in your remotest imaginations.

He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun....Bang.. .the gangster dies...

This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast! The 'climax' finally arrives.

Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)

Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

Newton Commits Suicide!!!

Technically correct!!!

A helicopter was flying above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.
The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign and held it up in the helicopter window.
The pilot's sign said, "Where am I?" in large letters.
The people in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign and held it to the window of their building.
Their sign read, "You are in a helicopter."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at the map, determined the course to steer to the SEATAC airport and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how the "You are in a helicopter" sign helped determine their position.
The pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the Microsoft building because, similar to their help-lines, they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer!"

Jerry Seinfeld's Funniest Quotes

# I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?

# It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

# Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.

# According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.

# Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

# The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. "Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here.

# Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel."

# Why do they call it a "building"? It looks like they're finished. Why isn't it a "built"?

# The big advantage of a book is it's very easy to rewind. Close it and you're right back at the beginning.

# Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

# The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman's point of view that men are all the same; so we might as well dress them that way. That's why a wedding is like the joining together of a beautiful, glowing bride and some guy. The tuxedo is a wedding safety device, created by women because they know that men are undependable. So in case the groom chickens out, everybody just takes one step over, and she marries the next guy.

# I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can't smell it. Can't eat it. Can't taste it. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, "Well, here it is. You can't have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye."

# You can measure distance by time. "How far away is it?" "Oh about 20 minutes." But it doesn't work the other way. "When do you get off work?" "Around 3 miles."

# Are there keys to a plane? Maybe that's what those delays are sometimes, when you're just sitting there at the gate. Maybe the pilot sits up there in the cockpit going, "Oh, I don't believe this. I did it again." They tell you it's something mechanical because they don't want to come on the P.A. system, "Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to be delayed here on the ground for a while. I uh..Oh, God this is so embarrassing...I, I left the keys to the plane in my apartment. I'm sorry, I'll run back and get them."

# I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren't cows outside a lot of the time? When it's raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, "Let us in! We're all wearing leather! Open the door! We're going to ruin the whole outfit here!"