Creative Gardening

Chicken a la Carte

View this movie at cultureunplugged.com

Chicken a la Carte : Director: Ferdinand Dimadura | Genre:Drama | Produced In: 2005

Synopsis: This film is about the hunger and poverty brought about by Globalization. There are 10,000 people dying everyday due to hunger and malnutrition. This short film shows a forgotten portion of the society. The people who live on the refuse of men to survive. What is inspiring is the hope and spirituality that never left this people.

The Paradoxical Commandments

"The Paradoxical Commandments" were written by Kent Keith in 1968, when he was 19 and a sophomore at Harvard. They were part of his first booklet for high school student leaders. Although just 30,000 copies of the student leadership booklet were published, his "Paradoxical Commandments" spread widely, endearing themselves to many. In fact, they were found hanging on the wall of Mother Teresa's room. There is no better way to lead a life of integrity than by following Kent Keith's Paradoxical Commandments:

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

Kids - Christian Humor

Minister

After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided I'm going to be a minister when I grow up."

"That's okay with us," the mother said, "But what made you decide to be a minister?"

"Well," the boy replied, "I'll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit still and listen."

Big Bucks

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."

The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."

The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And, it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

Floods

This old man lived near the Ohio River, and in the recent floods, he was washed away and his friends and family feared that he'd drowned. Miraculously, though, a state trooper pulled him out and his life was saved.

The old man lived many more years, but unfortunately he kept telling everyone how he survived the Ohio River floods until they were bored to tears.

Finally the old man died and went up to heaven. St. Peter met him at the Pearly Gates and said, "Welcome to Heaven! We'd like you to be eternally happy, so if there's anything you'd like to do, anything at all, just tell me and we'll fix it up for you."

"Thanks," said the old man. "I'd sure like to tell a bunch of folks about how I survived the Ohio River floods."

"No problem," said St. Peter. "I'll make the arrangements and get back to you."

A few days later, St. Peter contacted the old man and took him to the lecture hall where he was to give his talk. They both waited backstage while the audience got settled, and the man was pleased to see that it was rather a large crowd.

Then St. Peter grabbed the old man's arm. "Now, I don't want to make you nervous, but I've just spotted Noah in the crowd."

Atheist

A young woman teacher with explains to her class of children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too.

Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Sara has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I'm not an atheist."

"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"

"I'm Jewish."

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Sara why she is Jewish.

"Well, I was brought up knowing and loving God. My mom is Jewish, and my dad is Jewish, so I am Jewish."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Sara, "I'd be an atheist."

Christian Jokes

New Moses

The Rabbi's wife called a psychiatrist and said, "My husband thinks he's the new Moses."

The doctor assured her that these delusions of grandeur were only a passing fancy.

"Okay," she responded. "But in the meantime, how do I keep him from parting the waters in the hot tub

Star of David

Two beggars are sitting on a park bench in Mexico City. One is holding a cross and one a Star of David. Both are holding hats to collect contributions.

People walk by, lift their noses at the man with the Star of David and drop money in the hat held by the man with the cross.

Soon the hat of the man with the cross is filled, and the hat of the man with the Star of David is empty.

A priest watches and then approaches the men. He turns to the man with the Star of David and says, "Young man. Don't you realize that this is Catholic country? You'll never get any contributions in this country holding a Star of David."

The man with the Star of David turns to the man with the cross and says, "Moishe, can you imagine, this guy is trying to tell us how to run our business?"

Hail

The local church had hired a new choir director for the church choir. The church was undergoing some roof repairs, and as a result of the incomplete roofing, the church roof was uncovered with just the tin foundation.

Meanwhile, the poor choir director was struggling with the worse choral voices this side of the Mississippi. On Sunday morning, during the choir director's debut, the choir was sounding like sour grapes. All of a sudden, a fierce hail storm broke out, just as the choir was singing its last "amen".

With that, the minister stood up and look toward the roof top and said "It sounds like hail!"

The indignant Choir Director got up and cried out, "Won't you give me a break?! I'm doing the best that I can with these terrible voices!"

Secret Sins

Three pastors went to the pastor convention and were all sharing one room. The first pastor said, "Let's confess our secret sins one to another. I'll start - my secret sin is I just love to gamble. When I go out of town, it's cha-ching cha-ching, let the machines ring."

The second pastor said, "My secret sin is that I just love to drink. When I go out of town, I like to take a little nip of something."

The third pastor said, "My secret sin is gossiping and I can't wait to get out of this room!"

Shall we Gather at the River

A southern minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river." Sermon complete, he then sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365: 'Shall We Gather at the River'."